This is our 4th rough cut of our film.
Feedback
After posting this on facebook and youtube we gained some valuable feedback.
Our target audience said that it was too complicated of a story. They liked the idea but couldnt get a grasp of what we were trying to achieve and say.
Our teacher after looking at the film gave us a technical viewpoint of where we went wrong. There were sound issues at the beginning, with a lot of ambient fuzziness. Also there was not enough of the rewind shots which would give a much better idea of how weird this world was. The protagonist also has to react much more in a scared way to give it a sense of realism and also emotion which the audience can relate to. The antagonist (blue man) will also be much more believable as a mute, as it gives him more of a mysterious nature and leaves more narrative enigma.From this feedback, we will re-work our film to get the best out of our skills, and also something our audience can be thrilled to watch.
Might have said these before but knowing you're planning on re-working it some thoughts: openiong credits work well - music in before logo works and title itself an excellent touch; the mundanity of his getting up won't be lost with still more zippy, faster-paced editing, especially cutting to the beat when you can (sequence with knife, plate, toaster does this well; using a jazz soundtrack gives you a chance to be quirkier: consider music vid-style repeat shots as he comes down stairs, cut to the music (I think you could play about with time in this narrative more). Where you have CUs of reflective objects eg kettle, you could have blue man reflected. Maybe have BM in shot (audience's privileged POV only) where the lead can't see him instead of intercut shots. In school, he should be texting at 1st - he passes sev folk walking backwards THEN looks at them, seems odd. Keep dialogue to a minimum; jazz soundtrack fits that minimalism. Better not to have BM speak at all, just gesture/touch head. 2-shot of BM/lead has camera reflected in window. BM leaning in to cam on flashback needs to be more menacing if retained. Maybe play some of the footage with kid backwards, and signify he's here to correct the lapse in the time-space continuum his prev visit caused!!! BM wears office clothes. You could cut a scene where he's given a job to do by other BMen in an office - play around with reasons for his presence. I REALLY don't think he should talk at all, unless backwards.
ReplyDeleteBasically, be prepared to radically rethink to make sure both you two get the high you're quite capable of - this time round having viewed Red Dwarf etc!!!
All points understood from previous talkings and ideas already rolling around our heads.
ReplyDeleteSuch as being mute, as you said, but he speaks through mind e.g. put ben into trance which shows him the flashback and then he speaks over it (backwards maybe, depends how well it works[with subs like twin peaks])
Also, how would i save the word doc as a jpeg by any chance? Or would print screen be fine?